Does the sound of a school bus in the afternoon make your heart race a little faster? Either my body knows when to start preparing for the chaos, or I start feeling anxious about coming. Four boys are running down the hill full speed, asking for playdates and snacks all at the same time. Backpacks come flying through the door, as they run full speed to the fridge. The chaos is real.

My oldest is in fourth, and the youngest is in kindergarten. The amount of papers that they rip out of their backpacks starts to look like flying confetti. Half the time, I don’t know what belongs to who, or who to give the signed permission slip. Someone always needs money for class funds, teacher’s gifts, field trips, or lunch money. I never know which teachers I have paid, who I still owe, and who I double paid.

I’m always on the hunt for ways to stay organized. If I could learn to better surrender to the chaos, and if my kids could learn patience, we would all be better off. I have to remind my kids I’m not an octopus. Our after school routine was a free for all. Free to put or throw your papers wherever you want, so now your teacher will email me. Free to put every paper in front of my face to sign at that moment. Most days, it’s a combination. I had enough and decided something needed to change.

With kids, you have to have a system in place. Structure and routine will save your life and build healthy habits in your kids. Every command center, either didn’t match my style or solve the problem.

Sports are another big part of after school chaos, especially with four boys. If practice starts 15 minutes after they get off the bus, our house becomes a full-blown human tornado. Something is always lost—matching socks, shoes, shin guards, mouthguards, or whatever else they need. Having a system in place for sports equipment was a must.

After months of searching, I came across lockers from the container store. Of course, purchasing four carried a very high price tag. After all the failed alternatives, I decided to pull the trigger and buy the lockers for my sanity. I found a way to incorporate them into my house’s style, so I filled space and diminished clutter. It was a win-win.

How to have an after school routine

Once we had the locker system up and running, it’s been a life-changer. There is more structure, fewer emails, and human tornados.

Use a large family Calendar

Having a family calendar allows your kids to see their daily schedule. Every night they get their backpacks ready for the next day. They know if they have show and tell, need an extra snack for a field trip, pajama day, picture day, or whatever else goes on. It helps you, but it teaches them. I find most of my “mom guilt” comes from not remembering the little details that matter to them. Forgetting to pack a paper bag lunch for their field trip, or telling them it was pajama day. I provide the tools, communicate with them, and hand the organization part to each of my kids. When they get off the bus screaming at me because they wore pajamas when it wasn’t pajama day, I don’t have the same guilt. I get to say, did you look at the calendar? This holds them accountable and relieves me from feeling mentally exhausted.

School

When the kids get home, they know exactly where everything goes. Most of the time, they try to hand off their papers, but I remind them of where they belong. This prevents me from misplacing items, and I know who it belongs to so I can get it back to the correct classroom.

Sports

Using the locker system allows space to place all their sports items for the day without the clutter. Create an evening routine with your kids. Let them know they are responsible for looking at the calendar every evening. They can find what sports they have for the next day and start looking for their uniforms and equipment.

Have somewhere for your kids to reference

If Alexa could take over the sound of my frequent requests, I may start to like my voice again. Every day I repeat the same things, “set the table, make your bed, brush your teeth, go potty, wash your hands, bedtime, no iPads after 6 pm, no iPads at the table, flush the toilet, turn the tv down, and the list goes on and on. I sound like a broken record, or nowadays, a tik tok video left open.

The solution, somewhere they can reference. I created a routine and rules for every room in the house. I placed a morning and evening poster in their bedroom. The after school list is by their lockers, table manners by the kitchen table, and I even have one above the toilet. After creating each routine, I had them all printed at Staples on an 8×10. I put each in the picture frame and hung them up. Of course, I found a creative way to make them look modern. So, I fill some walls and save my breath. It’s a win-win.

Get rid of the clutter.

If your kids collect any type of cards, you know the feeling of finding them all over the house. Along with random rocks, leaves, pencils, papers, lists, or any kind of knick knack kids collect. These items usually end up on countertops, dressers, or any shelf in the house. The unknown of where to put them can create frustration. You end up moving them from one shelf to another. If each kid had a locker or own space, these problems go away.  

Every business operation has a system in place. Without structure, there’s no way they could grow as a company. Running a family is similar to running a business. You need structure and systems in place. Finding ways to delegate is essential to your survival. If one person runs the show, that person will burnout. And, the system will fail. 

As parents, our job is to grow the business (our kids) and manage it all (keep it all together). If you delegate some of the nuisances, you can focus on the things that matter. 

Its easier to do it all. I get it. As a nurse, delegating was my weakness. The nursing assistants figured this and stopped helping all together. It became the new norm out of habit, not spite. Times when I needed help, it wasn’t easy.

When we do everything for our kids, they start expecting it. The more you do, the less they do. They won’t have the opportunity to learn organizational skills and healthy habits. Before you know it, they’re transitioning into adulthood. Learning these skills as adults isn’t easy. You have to unlearn bad habits before you can learn healthy ones. 

The best gift you can give your kids is your presence. The second is skills for life. If you are the one doing everything, you aren’t able to be present. If your kids don’t practice these skills at home, they will have to learn as adults to survive in the real world.

Kids need to learn how to fail to succeed. Providing structure within their after school routine holds them accountable. As they learn what works and what doesn’t work, they will be better off by the time they are adults. Your stress levels decrease, and your kids master life skills. Both of these combined will not only help now but will impact both of your futures. 

Leave a comment below with your struggles. Take the time to respond to a comment that you have gone through and now mastered. Knowing we’re all going through the same thing, and finding ways to help others is empowering. 

XOXO ♥

Sketched by a HAUTEmess